I have become obsessed with what it means to be a single parent. Kinda crazy I know since I have never had the whole “normal” family situation.

But it becomes a problem now because my baby has started kindergarten, and I have realized how little of a social life I have right now. I do have to say thank goodness for my family, or my minuscule version of a social life would be nonexistent.

Every afternoon I stand and wait for to pick up my baby and watch other parents talking, and having conversations about their families and children and I start feeling alone. I revert to that painfully shy girl I was in high school, not fitting in or making any advances to fit in. I come home alone, and once I put Wookis to bed every night I sit alone and wonder what will happen to the two of us. What will happen to me as he grows up and away from me.

Though most days I love my solitude, I have enjoyed being able to follow my own rules and not have anybody else to worry about, I have started being to be concerned that I will be one of those crazy cat women – alone for the rest of my days. Clinging tightly to my connection to Wookis, dependent on him for any or all of my contact with the  outside world. Or completely dependent on my sister and brother-in-law, squeezing in on their family time, becoming that crazy auntie that just won’t go away.

Yea, this picture makes me look like that I am not that far from crazy-town. It’s a little disturbing big my mouth is and how pale my skin is.

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